


Something I regret

by Blue_Jayy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (thatswhatshesaid), Anal Sex, Badass Eren Yeager, Cheating, Cheating Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), End game Ereri, Eren has a history of being almost raped, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Its my first story and I'm already causing pain, Jean is an asshole but only because he cares, Kinda of rape/molestation warning, M/M, Mikasa is also in love with Eren, Minor Levi/Erwin Smith, Protective Mikasa Ackerman, Smut, a n g s t, did I mention angst already?, like right off the bat just BOOM, please be gentle but not too gentle if that makes sense?, this is too much fun I'm going to stop, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2019-08-28 12:39:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16723575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Jayy/pseuds/Blue_Jayy
Summary: Eren and Levi had been through a lot together and they loved each other immensely but when Levis boss becomes a little too friendly with him and Levi gives into the temptation their relationship faces their biggest obstacle yet.





	1. I’d do anything for you

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am not new to the community per se but I am new to writing and I do not have a beta. I'm in Ap English but my grammar is absolutely atrocious but ANYWAYS i would love some constructive criticism it would mean a lot to me! I hope to regularly update every week and I have so many ideas and plans to write out as well so I hope to post regularly for at least one story. Thank you so much for reading and please Enjoy! Btw, if you wanna find me to just chat or send some idea my way myTumblr is jay-kay-z. Also if yall want a certain ship do not be afraid to ask! i will certainly try to incorporate it into my story

Erwin grunted as he thrust into Levi, groaning as he picked up the pace. Levi groaned, he knew what he was doing was wrong, it was pathetic but because of the pleasure clouding his mind at the moment, he really didn't care. But doing this always made him guilty but besides, Erwin wasn't the one on his mind during sex, instead it was a teal eyed 18-year-old college student. Levi and Eren had been together for 3 years, they had met in high school and immediately hit off, he loved Eren with all his heart but Eren wasn't ready for such intimate contact. Of course, Levi had needs too but he never complained or whined about it. He truly believed that cheating was the most disrespectful thing to do to your partner and yeah it was hypocritical he knew that but he couldn't turn down Erwin's offer.

From the beginning when he started working at the clothing company Survey Corps he always knew Erwin's eyes were on him but never made a move towards him. But it changed when one night Levi was working late and Erwin stepped into his office with a deal. What sprouted from a guilty one night stand turned into a 3-month-old affair. Levi and Erwin had an understanding and besides he wasn't planning on doing this forever because the day Eren says that he's ready he was gonna call Erwin and stop the affair completely. Erwin groaned loudly as he emptied into Levi and Levi followed after grunting. Erwin pulled out and Levi stood up from the desk, his lower back hurting immensely. He rested for a second before lowering his eyes to the ground, avoiding Erwin completely. After this part Levi became very awkward, guilt filling him once more.

 

Levi picked up his clothes and pulled on his boxers. He pulled on his shirt buttoning it up and pulling up his pants smoothing them out so it didn't look too suspicious. Erwin followed pulling on his clothes, the silence in the room was deafening neither wanting to acknowledge the elephant. “Eren is waiting for me” Erwin nodded, as much he wanted to keep Levi he knew he loved Eren too much to ever leave him.

“I'll call you later ok?” Levi walked out of Erwin's office not looking back, making his way to the elevator. He pulled his phone out of his jacket going through his contacts to call Eren. The call went through and the first thing he heard was someone yawning deeply. He smiled a little knowing his boyfriend stayed up specifically for him.

“Hey Lev, I didn't know you would be this late” Levi felt guilt hit him like a brick but he ignored it,

“Yeah, I was just finishing up some extra papers and documents shitty Erwin wanted to do.” Eren giggled causing Levis face to break out into a toothy smile.”I'm on my way home ok brat?”

“Ok Levi I love you” Levi made his way out of the elevator to his car

”I love you too brat”

Levi contemplated bringing home food since he hadn't eaten so he sent a quick text to Eren at a stop light. Eren replied quickly saying he wanted Chinese and that Levi shouldn’t be texting and driving. Levi rolled his eyes and stopped by their favorite Chinese place which was luckily still open considering that it was 11 at night. Levi arrived ten minutes later at their home and made his way to the door.

“Hey, brat” Eren was sitting on the couch engrossed in his tv show until Levi acknowledged his presence, Eren smiled bright teal eyes lighting up making Levis' heart skip a beat. He set the food on the dinner table and walked towards his boyfriend.

Levi gave Eren one of his rare smiles, Eren responding by hugging him and bringing him closer, wrapping his legs around his waist and bringing them both onto the couch. Levi laid on Eren putting his head on his chest listening to his heartbeat.” How was work?” Eren murmured pulling his fingers through Levis' hair. Levi relaxed a bit after Eren started messing with his hair,

”Shitty Eyebrows wanted me to do a lot of extra shit and Shitty glasses was fucking around too much like usual”. Eren softly chuckled

”If you want I could help you with that stress you're carrying”Levis' head popped up eyes opening in surprise.

Eren laughed freely making Levis heart flutter ”No not like that you dirty minded old pervert.” Levi smirked, ” what I meant was my friend gave me a lesson in massaging today” Levis smirk disappeared almost instantly,

”Did he show you techniques or use them on you?” Levi was extremely possessive, the thought of anyone but him touching Eren like that made his blood boil,

”No, he just demonstrated them to me on one of his customers” Levi let out a sigh and nodded his head.

“Alright, but only after we eat I know you haven’t eaten in god only knows how long considering your shitty eating habits,” He glared at Eren as he got up and made his way to the table.

"Oh fuck off Lev, why should I bother worrying about eating when I have you to always remind me?” Levi glared a little more intently but Eren simply laughed. They brought out the food and just as fast as they had gotten it out, it was gone. Eren quickly put the cups into the garbage can in order to appease the clean freak that was his boyfriend.

Eren smiled suggestively and Levi got up from his chair,” Do me a favor Lev and go to the bed and take off your shirt lying face down”

”Yeah yeah I'm going brat” Levi walked to their bedroom pulling up his shirt and leaving it in the clothes hamper. He laid face down on the bed waiting for Eren to come in. Eren came in with some oil and straddled Levis back immediately working on his muscles.

“So how was your day Lev?” Levi hummed,

“Not too bad, shitty glasses accidentally shredded over 50 files worth of client information, luckily we got backups or else her ass would’ve been kicked out quicker than she could have said ‘im sorry’” Eren chuckled and brought up his hands to work on his shoulder blades and sides.

“Enough about me, how was your day?” Eren grunted in annoyance,

“Fucking Kasa wiped food off my face with her spit covered thumb in front of our crew in the food court. The assholes made fun of me the entire day, plus horse face spilled his drink on me while he was making out with his fiance. So I had to change my clothes in a Macy's changing room in shame while a mom wouldn’t stop checking me out. So Lev I had a pretty shitty day compared to yours,” Levi hid his chuckle in the bedding but Eren heard anyways causing him to dig especially deep into Levis' neck.

“Watch it brat,” Levi growled playfully and Eren simply rolled his eyes,

“Whatever old man just enjoy your message and shut up” Levi simply complied too tired to argue.

After half an hour Eren had finished up and Levi felt refreshed and his muscles were no longer aching,

“Wow brat you have pretty good hands” Eren chuckled taking off his shirt and making his way to the bathroom.

” Well thank my friend Connie for that” Levi took off his pants putting them in the hamper and pulled on his basketball shorts instead. Levi caught Eren staring at him from the doorway making him smirk,

”See something you like brat?” Eren shook his head and turned away embarrassed, Levi chuckled and pulled him close making Eren yelp at the sudden movement. He pulled him under the covers and followed under putting his head on Eren's chest. Eren sighed deeply, Levi felt that something was definitely bothering him. He lifted up his face gently, forcing him to make eye contact. Eren tensed up and cleared his throat,

”I-I-m sorry Levi I know you want me to I know you have needs but I can't I don't know why it just comes ba-”

“Shut up Eren it's okay I understand you don't need to explain it, I'll wait as long as you need me too” Eren smiled and relaxed

”Thank you, Lev, it means a lot that you’re so loving to someone whos so broken,”

“ Don't thank me Eren, I’d do anything for you” His tone genuine and loving.

Levis' heart clenched and his stomach turned seeing Eren so vulnerable. He knew what happened when Eren was younger, and even though the man who broke into his family's house didn't succeed he still traumatized Eren badly making Levi want to track down the son of a bitch and make him pay. He loved Eren more than anything and he knew that his affair was wrong so he knew he had to end it with Erwin Tomorrow. It amazed him on how much Eren trusted him and respected him it made him feel amazing he knew he couldn't break that trust. He brushed the hair out of the brunettes face as he kissed his head.

”I love you Eren goodnight” he rarely used Eren's name, only saying it during serious times but when he did say it, it was worth seeing his face light up when he did.

” I love you too Levi” Eren pecked him on the lips and sighed contently closing his eyes.

Even though Levi had insomnia Eren's heartbeat seemed to be his cure as he listened closely and closed his eyes letting sleep take him. Levi woke up to cluttering in the kitchen making him realize that Eren was making breakfast. He stood up and immediately went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth. He finished up brushing and walked to the kitchen sneaking up to his boyfriend and wrapping his arms around him. Eren jumped a bit but relaxed into Levis' arms

”Morning”

“Morning brat” Levi murmured into Eren's back as he closed his eyes enjoying the moment. These moments were the ones he treasured the most and even though he would probably never admit it he'd loved and appreciated Eren so much, he honestly didn't know what he would do without him. Levi let go reluctantly and grabbed the coffee pot grabbing a cup as well,

”Today's my last day for working brat then I'm off for my two-week vacation”

“Yay! You work too much anyway and I'm asking for my vacation too and I know just how to start it off but I'm not sharing.” Levi smirked and drank his coffee watching his boyfriend cook breakfast shirtless, ”I have 1 hour till work brat I'm gonna get ready then I'll get home at 7”.

Eren worked in a small cafe not getting the best payment but it was the best job he could get. He was about to go to college on a scholarship that he'd gotten for the University of Chicago. He knew that he wanted to be a doctor from the moment he knew what they did. Levi had already finished college but was leaning more towards being a clothing designer or a photographer.

“Ok sounds good Lev” Levi walked to the bedroom to quickly change into his business suit, today was the last day of his affair and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders at just the thought of it. Eren walked in the same time Levi had grabbed a tie, Eren walked over and grabbed the tie, wrapping it around his boyfriend's neck before tying it. As soon as Eren was done he grabbed the end of Levis tie, pulling him to him and kissed him passionately, resulting in Levi pushing him against the door and grabbing his waist. Eren moaned causing Levis blood to move south.

Eren separated from Levi panting hard as he was”There will be time for that later but you have to work first” Levi growled and quickly pecked Eren's lips. Eren smiled and brought his forehead to Levis” However if you make me wait I won't be giving you shit” Levi chuckled and roughly grabbed Eren's behind making Eren jump and yelp.

” I'll definitely be here brat” Eren fixed Levis suit and pushed him out of their bedroom,  
“Go before I make the both of us late for work”

“I don't mind”

“LEVI!” Levi laughed fondly at Eren's antics. He sat down and quickly ate with Eren sitting next to him at the table while Eren kept initiating the game footsie.

Levi finished his coffee and thanked Eren for breakfast making his way to the front door.”I'll be home soon brat I love you”

“ I love you too Levi” Eren quickly kissed him and put the car keys in his hand”Bye Lev” Levi smirked and made his way to the car, a little excited by what his boyfriend was planning to do.

-skip 5 hours-  
Levi groaned and looked at the clock, grateful that there were only 2 hours left, he rubbed his face and sighed. He groaned once again when he heard the telltale scream from his ‘friend’ Hanji. “ Hey shorty I heard you going on vacation” Levi sent a glare her way but it didn't affect her at all. Hanji was the only person who knew about him and Erwin. She hated the fact that he was cheating and still pushed him to end the affair every day.

“ I can't believe you're leaving me for 3 weeks let me come with youu” Levis frown deepened

“Fuck off four eyes, it's just gonna be me and Eren” Hanjis smile and mood disappeared almost instantly,

”You're gonna end things with Erwin today right?” She was serious and seeing her serious made Levi know that he fucked up

” Yeah I am” Hanji sighed in relief and smiled,

”I don't want to see you or Eren get hurt he doesn't deserve that” hearing Eren's name made him smile just a bit. Hanji squealed lightly making everyone in the office turn to look at her,

” Shut up shitty glasses!!” Hanji squealed and jumped a bit,

”He makes you so happy it's amazing I've never seen you smile that much before shorty and I’ve known you for 3 years! But alas I have to go do my thing before I get yelled at see you later” Hanji sang the last part making Levi roll his eyes and his frown deepen.

Levi planned to talk to Erwin as soon as possible, but it turned out Erwin had a meeting make him stay out of the office for the entire day but Levi just ended up leaving a little note on his desk simply saying that he wanted to talk to him. Soon enough the clock struck 7 making Levi get up immediately and make his way towards the parking garage. His anticipation got bigger throughout the entire day wondering what Eren was up to. He arrived at the house walking a little faster than usual.

Levi walked in seeing candles surrounding the dinner table and Eren putting plates on the table.

“Wow you're home in record time” Levi smirked and walked towards Eren hugging him,

”I came home running to make sure you weren't doing anything stupid brat” Eren chuckled and motioned for him to sit down,

” Well I just cooked and I have to tell you something” Levi sat down and began eating Erens cooking he really did enjoy it when he cooked.

They laughed and talked during dinner just chatting about the most random thing they could come up with, they were extremely comfortable with each other just being to say what was on their minds. Levi became a bit anxious so he broke the peace,

“Ok, so what did you want to tell me brat?” Eren perked up, he picked up the dishes and put them in the sink and cleared the table. Eren sighed and looked very nervous second-guessing his actions “Well I've been planning this for a long while and I'm ready Lev” Eren maneuvered into Levis chair straddling him. Eren slowly unbuttoned Levis shirt slowly undoing each button one by one.” I love you more than anything in this world, you make me a better man and make me strive to be a better person and even though I'm usually not sappy I just want to tell you how much I love you even if words can't express it I love you Levi Ackerman and I want you to make love to me”

Levi was surprised by Eren's behavior but he really didn't mind he loved Eren with everything he had, “ Brat I don't want you to feel pressured into the this” Eren shook his head no and Levi held his hips as Eren took off his own shirt,

“I'm ready I'm so sure of it, I was just a bit nervous that maybe you wouldn't want to” Levi gave a rare genuine smile,

”Eren I love you so much you brought so much light into my life and I'm so happy that I met you I love you Eren Jaeger” Eren smiled widely and crashed his lips to Levis.

Levi felt elated with joy, he was finally gonna be the most intimate he could get with the person he loved most. Levi bit Erens bottom lip asking for entrance causing Eren to gasp and Levi to push his tongue into his mouth. Levi growled and picked up Eren, Eren immediately wrapped his legs around him and held on like his life depended on it. Levi pushed Eren into a wall making him moan out loud. Levi felt his dick harden but instead of pulling away like he usually did he ground his hardened length onto Eren's.

Eren pulled away and gasped, making Levi move down to his neck to mark him. He wanted to make sure everyone knew who Eren belonged to. Levi growled and left a big purple hickey on Eren's collarbone”Mine” Eren moaned loudly

“Yes yours” Levi kissed Eren once again making them both groan into the kiss.

“We are gonna take this slow brat” Levi pulled away wanting to see Eren's face. Erens collarbone and neck were covered in dark purple hickeys along with some red love bites, his eyes were glazed over with lust his lips bruised from the fierce kissing they did, seeing Eren's face in a such a way made Levi feel so possessive and content it was indescribable.

Levi felt a rush of lust hit him as he looked over Eren again. He growled and picked him off the wall and brought him to the bed in their room. Eren moaned as Levi put him on the back and grabbed Eren's hips roughly. Levi took his time and looked Eren in the face. They stared at each other for the longest time just looking at each other wholly until Levi brought their foreheads together. Levi used his arms as leverage as he lowered himself to kiss Eren, he straddled Eren's hips to have better access to him. Eren dragged his fingernails down Levis back leaving behind red scratches. Levi groaned as he felt his nails in his back, he kissed down Eren's chest before reaching his pants zipper.

He looked at Eren for permission, Eren was panting hard but was able to nod a little impatient on what he knew was gonna happen. Just as Levi pulled down his zipper Levis phone rang making them both make noises of disapproval,

“You should go answer Lev” Levi grunted and placed a quick kiss on Eren's stomach getting up quickly to answer the stupid phone. Levi was pissed off at the person on the line, they ruined his time with Eren. He roughly picked up his phone and swiped the ID “What?!!”

“Levi it's Erwin, I need you to come in really quick I need you to look at something then I'll let you enjoy your vacation.”

Levi sighed heavily he really didn't want to deal with this shit Erwin wanted.”It better be fucking quick” he hung up and threw his phone on the couch and sighed. Suddenly he felt two hands start rubbing his shoulders. Een already knew what was going on given his reaction,

”it's fine Levi go really quick it's barely 8 anyways I'll be waiting for you at least you have something to look forward to” Eren bit Levis earlobe gently and whispered the words into his ear. Levi smirked and turned to his boyfriend,

”I'm gonna take the shortest time know to man, fucking shitty eyebrows” Eren burst out laughing and quickly pecked Levi on the lips.

“I'll be waiting” Eren's words held promise and Levi was gonna take the shortest time he could. He quickly pulled on a random shirt from his closet and grabbed his car keys. “Shitty fucking Erwin” he mumbled under his breath. Levi drove to the company's building in a rage. He quickly jumped in the elevator making his way towards Erwin's office.

-Meanwhile-  
Eren sat on the bed and sighed contently, he was happy that he was ready to do this with Levi the person he loved more than anyone. Eren got up and pulled on a shirt. Although as much as he hated that they were interrupted he understood that Levi had responsibilities as much as it sucked. He looked over to the couch immediately noticing Levis phone.

He needed to give Levi the phone in case he took a long time or something happened. Eren quickly grabbed the phone and his car keys making his way over to the extra car they had. He drove looking for the building with the clothing company's logo, two crossed wings one blue one white. He pulled over in the parking garage and made his way towards the elevator ruffling his hair a bit. He arrived at the top floor and he made his way towards Levis office but when he came in there was no one there. He became confused but it died down when he heard yelling coming from Erwin's office in the far left corner.

He didn't really know Erwin he only knew Hanji, Mike and select other people that Levi actually tolerated enough to talk to but the only thing he did know was that Erwin was his boss. He heard more yelling coming from the office but then it died down. He became really curious so he silently walked over to the window. Erwin looked frustrated and Levi looked beyond annoyed. Erwin said something that Eren couldn't hear but Levi nodded his head reluctantly. Erwin turned around and softly kissed Levi.

Levi seemed to get into the kiss and grabbed Erwin's shoulders. Eren looked at the scene in disbelief, his teal eyes wide open. He stood frozen unable to do anything just watching the scene between them.”Lev?” Eren whispered it very softly, his voice cracking. Not once did Levi push him, Erwin, away or look towards the window so Eren concluded that he probably didn't hear him. Eren felt a wave of emotions hit him like a truck, the strongest out of all of them was betrayal.

Eren's mind finally processed the scene and he sobbed loudly but put his hands over his mouth to muffle the sound. He turned around and sat against the wall. He gripped his chest, his heart felt as if it was torn in two it was the worst emotional pain he'd ever felt except for the day his mother was announced dead from her cancer 2 days before his seventeenth birthday. He laid his head against the wall and took in a deep shaky breath. He rubbed his chest willing the pain to go away, he closed his eyes trying to block out the images his mind kept creating of Levi and Erwin doing less than honorable things.

The stupid weight on his chest he recognized all too well came back with vengeance. Mocking him, telling him that maybe just maybe if he had sex with Levi earlier this wouldn’t be happening. Levi wouldn’t have sought comfort from another man. If Eren had simply manned up and gave Levi what he wanted he wouldn't be going through this pain again. The little voice in his head mocked and mocked filling his head with things to second guess.

Eren sobbed a little more but covered his mouth he couldn't afford to have either of them hear. He bit his lip to try and keep his tears at bay, he was in denial he kept thinking that maybe there was a good explanation for this, maybe the one person he loved and trusted with all his heart didn't just kiss another man. But he really couldn't deny it when the proof was right in front of him, as much as he didn't want to see it. He knew Levi was a good person and he loved him with all his heart, he was just hoping that when after all this was over he wouldn't look at Levi as something he regrets.

PS: i dove right in im SORRY


	2. 2.The sting of betrayal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I am honestly so impatient to just keep uploading so I'm gonna double update! There will still be an update on Friday as well so don't worry! Thank you for all your lovely comments and kudos it really means a lot to me, it warms my cold heart! this definitely is one of my favorite chapters and I made sure to drag out the confrontation between Levi and Eren so ANGST ahead. Once again thank you all again so much and enjoy! :)

“Levi you can't just end it like it meant nothing to you” 

“It didn’t, Erwin! I told you this shit from the beginning you knew the agreement, you knew that I would end this if anything you broke your own fucking heart for thinking that this would go anywhere !” Levi yelled at Erwin his frustration and anger building up. Erwin had gotten his note and feared that Levi finally wanted to stop the relationship so he called him in immediately, desperate to somehow get Levi to stay.

”Levi please I can make you happier than Eren I ca-”

“I highly doubt that Erwin, Eren is my fucking soul mate you’re just a fling” Levi didn't mean to sound so harsh but he needed to get through to Erwin.

Erwin sighed heavily,” Levi I-I-I love-” 

“No you don't Erwin you're just confused you'll find someone later on but I need to get home to Eren this thing we have is over ” Erwin turned around and looked at the wall deciding his next course of action,

“Can I get at least one last kiss?” Erwin's voice broke making Levi feel bad, he should have never started the affair. Levi did his best to ignore the little voice in the back of his head that kept trying to tell him something, he needed to focus on the situation at hand so Levi decided that for Erwin's own closure he would agree to one last kiss,

“Fine”

Erwin turned around and cupped Levis face bringing his lips to his. Levi could have sworn he heard a noise come from the window but the grip Erwin had on his head kept him from looking. He gripped Erwin's shoulders and pictured Eren's face, that was the only way he was going to get through the moment.

Eren contemplated how to handle the situation, his best friend Mikasa was an hour away and she didn't need his problems right now, she was still trying to figure out her own life. Armin was studying for college too busy to be caught in Eren's drama. Eren didn't want anyone to worry about him but he knew he couldn't stay at the house. His own job working at a cafe wasn't paying much, he only had his scholarship to work his way through med school. Levis job had good pay but there was no way in hell he would use his money.

Eren brought his knees up to his chest willing the scene that kept replaying in his head to go away. He finally decided on going to Marco and Jean's apartment. He felt the lump in his throat get bigger but he held back tears. He and Jean were enemies until they became good friends, even though they still bicker here and there they stayed as close friends. His boyfriend Marco was very kind and often said that Eren and Jean behaved like siblings causing them to argue that they were totally not sibling like causing another fight between them.

Eren slowly got up and took a peek at the window. Levi and Erwin were still kissing and Eren quickly looked away. His anger had built up tremendously watching them kiss again. He felt so used, so betrayed that he squeezed his hand into a fist so hard that his knuckles popped. He willed himself to calm down but his anger had won. He grabbed Levis phone tightly and threw it at the door with so much force that it cracked the screen and alerted both Levi and Erwin. 

Eren quickly ran towards the elevator and clicked for the parking garage. He looked at the door while the elevator doors closed and watched as Levi came out looking a bit nervous. He saw Levi look towards the elevator where he was, his eyes widening and his expression switched from anxious to despair and guilt.

“Eren!” The doors closed and the elevator went down. Levi quickly headed towards the stairs forgetting completely about Erwin. Eren exited the elevator and ran towards his car, quickly starting it up and driving home. He felt tears building up in his eyes but instead of sub coming to crying he instead went into the bedroom and packed up a few select pieces of clothing and some of his most valuable items. 

Somewhere along the way Eren stopped rushing and began to simply take his time. His thoughts drifted to broken promises and memories that now held a deep pain instead of happiness. And that was all Levi’s fault. Eren simply smiled sadly as he put one picture of Levi in his suitcase. His favorite one too, it was one that he had taken while they were cuddling and he quickly grabbed the camera to take a picture. Levi was smiling and Eren was too, they looked so carefree and content but what really made the picture special was the love Levi had in his gaze directed towards Eren.

Eren swallowed a heavy lump in his throat as he walked to the stairs. Despite the constant flow of emotions, Eren felt numb. He felt no emotion but he knew it was because it was like the calm before the storm. It was late, nine o clock to be exact. The lights that shone from the buildings were his absolute favorite. Too bad he couldn't enjoy them at the moment. He brought his suitcase to the kitchen and put it beside the counter. He needed some kind of energy so he poured water into the coffee pot and waited for Levis arrival. He simply stared out the window behind the tv, letting himself get lost in his thoughts. About 2 minutes later the coffee finished and Levi burst through the door.

Levi was panting and his clothes were disheveled. He had a look of despair that broke Eren's heart but he knew that he needed to do this, 

” Welcome home Levi” it sounded so hollow so unlike Eren, it freaked Levi out, his stomach turned. Eren was casually leaning against the counter as he poured his coffee,

“So, I guess you're probably wondering what happens now.” Levi nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat, ”You see Levi cheating is something that I despise, that I thought you despised as well yet it seemed like you and Erwin were pretty comfortable with each other. Care to explain why?” 

Levi choked back a sob” I am so sorry Eren” 

“Sorry you cheated or sorry you got caught?” Eren smirked coldly as he drank his coffee. Eren sounded so empty it tore Levi apart. He drank his coffee without pouring anything into it Levi subconsciously noted.

“Never think that I am anything less than sorry for doing this to you, I'm so sorry I chose myself over you. I love you so much” Eren didn't look at Levi but instead kept sipping his coffee and tapping his fingers on the counter.

“If you really did love me you would have never cheated but answer my question how long has this been going on?” Levis' heart broke,

“Eren I never meant for this to last long, Erwin didn’t mean shi-“ 

“ I didn’t fucking ask if you were sorry nor do I need some shitty explanation as to why you couldn’t keep your fucking cock in your pants. My patience is wearing thin Ackerman, now tell me how long?” Eren was surprised his voice was stood firm as he sneered at the man he loved with all his heart,

“ It lasted for 3 months” Levi kept his gaze on the ground as he no longer wanted to see the deep pain he had caused. His face was scrunched up in pain as if he had been physically hurt,

Eren felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He swallowed the bitter taste of deception in his mouth ”Oh wow so what you’re telling me is that all those nights that you said that you had to work late were a lie?” Levis' voice became hoarse

”Yes,” Levi kept gaze on the couch. Eren pondered for a second before saying,

“ So this brings me to my next question, did you fuck him?” Eren bit it out. He could easily assume, easily figure out that they had slept together, but he didn’t. He wanted to pretend to be naive, pretend he didn't have images of them together racing through his head. He wanted the truth plain and simple. No matter how much it hurt, no matter how much he truly did not want to know. He needed to be told what happened. 

Levi stood there not responding, clenching his fists by his side. His throat tightened painfully as tears slid down his face. He coughed painfully as he tried to give him an answer,

“Yes,” The weight on Erens chest came back tenfold. He felt as if the weight of the sadness would drown him. His chest aches painful and his heart felt as if it had been torn out. The immense pain was something Eren decided to memorize to memorize this very moment to strengthen his resolve. This pain was all too familiar to him anyways but that was a different topic Eren didn’t even want to touch. Besides, it all hurt the same,

Heartbreak was a bitch

Eren took a deep breath and he took a long sip from his cup.”Ok”

Levi cried and wiped his tears with his shirt sleeve “I'm so sorry I was going to end it today but Erwin wanted one last kiss and I felt pity for him.” 

Eren looked at him with his ocean eyes glistening from unshed tears,” oh you felt pity for him? You felt pity for the fucker who you cheated with and not for your fucking boyfriend of three fucking years? Not for your supposed best friend of 4? You’ve gotta be fucking me,” Eren let out a humorless laugh to keep his tears at bay,

“ Eren I know how hurt you are I know baby but you are my heart it’s you it’s always been you. You have my body heart and soul do whatever you want with them. I have never loved and never WILL love anyone like I love you. Please don’t leave me, baby, please don’t Ren, don’t do this to us,”

Eren drank the last drop of his coffee and dropped it in the sink. He felt the air shift in the room from melancholy to simply still. It was kind of comforting,

“Do this to us? You’re acting as if I had a choice as if I had a choice to ignore the acts of the man who I thought loved me is that what you want? For me to lie down and just take it like a fucking loyal dog? Well, guess what Ackerman, you’re sadly fucking mistaken if you think for even a second that I’m simply going to run back into your fucking arms. I’m done,”

Eren shook his head and turned to look at Levi” I trusted you because I loved you and now that you've broken that I don't want to be here anymore, you can keep the house” Levi looked even more broken

”No no Eren no you can't leave me please” Eren's heart broke for Levi but his own pain rivaled Levis. “Don’t do this to me I love you so much baby,” Levi tried to gain ground as he inched closer. It was noticed by Eren though as he immediately choked out,

“Don’t you fucking dare, stay where you are I’m not going near you,” Eren held his ground while Levi simply wanted the ground to swallow him whole.

Eren sighed as he moved towards the door, his revolve breaking just a crack, ”I need time and I'm going to check up on you every once and while but you've lost me” Levi sobbed loudly and Eren felt his own tears start to gather up,

”it's not fair to me, and I'm going to show myself out do what you want” Levi sobbed louder but was grateful that Eren was going to stay in his life. Seeing Levi sob and cry unnerved Eren to no end. Eren picked up his suitcase and made his way towards the door not looking back. Levi fell to the ground clutching his chest tightly, wanting anything to stop his pain.

He walked outside and drew in a deep breath of Chicago air. It was cold and cloudy not unusual, though he vaguely noticed that the weather matched the emotions he felt. He got in the car and drove quickly to Marcos and Jean's apartment feeling his emotions once again. He pulled up to the apartment parking lot and parked horribly but he really couldn't care less.

He walked up to the stairs to their apartment stumbling around tiredly. He knocked on the door limply and waited for Jean to answer. Jean came to the door yelling and jerked open the door “ I swear to god I already told you that we don’t want any cooki-“Jean took a look at Eren and froze. Eren's eyes had bags and his eyes were red. He looked so exhausted as if he hadn't slept in days. Marco came to the door to see why Jean was taking so long and froze as well when he saw his usually snarky and passionate friend looking like a shell of his old self.

“ Eren?” At his name, Eren broke out crying and sobbed loudly. Marco pushed Jean out of the way and brought Eren into his arms. Eren cried louder and clung on to Marco like his life depended on it. Jean brought in his suitcase and went to the kitchen to make some tea. Marco brought Eren to the couch and they both sat down while Eren sobbed and cried loudly into Marco's shirt. Marco just rubbed his back and whispered into his ear that he was going to be ok. Eren acted like a scared child and it broke Marcos and Jean's hearts.

Eren finally stopped crying but didn't let go of Marco. Jean set the tea on the coffee table next to Eren and sat next to him. They sat in silence and Eren still clung to Marco. Jean sat in a silent rage wanting to know who hurt Eren in such a horrible way but came to a conclusion when he remembered that Eren came to the apartment alone. He never goes anywhere alone without an Ackerman by his side. Eren fell asleep looking anything but peaceful. Eren had a heart of gold and seeing him like this made Marco and Jean hurt.

Jean picked up Eren and brought him to the spare room they kept, gently setting him on the bed putting a blanket on his friend. Eren tossed and turned all night and Levi was no better he didn't sleep at all since he didn't have Eren's heart to listen to. 

He knew he hurt Eren badly, he knew he fucked up immensely but he needed Eren like he needed air.Eren was his heart without Eren he had nothing simple as that. He knew he had to get him back no matter how long it took. He wasn’t the man Eren deserved but he would change for him. Levi took in a shaky breath and pictured Erens sleeping face and tired smile. He finally drifted off into a restless sleep.

Eren awoke slowly, sitting up and looking around , seeing his surroundings. He noticed that he was in the spare room Jean and Marco kept. He checked his phone, the brightness blinding him for a moment but read 6:26 AM. He sighed deeply, he had to work in about two hours but he really didn't feel up to it. Although he really didn't want to work today he knew he had to save up money to get his own place and stop being such a bother on Jean and Marco they had done enough for him.

He got up slowly and walked to the bathroom, he stripped himself of his clothes and turned on the shower to the hottest temperature he could handle. He looked himself in the mirror and noticed that he looked like a complete mess, his fingers gently touched the purple Hickey on his collarbone causing him to become a mix of emotions again. His fingers ghosted over the Hickey and the weight on his chest came back. He looked himself over in the mirror and his hair was everywhere his eyes were puffy and had bags under them. He shook himself of the thoughts and forced himself under the scalding water.

He finished about 20 minutes later feeling clean but not refreshed like it usually left him. He grabbed his suitcase and grabbed his uniform quickly pulling it on. He grabbed his phone and keys leaving the room but hearing sounds come from the kitchen. He heard Marco humming softly as he cooked breakfast, Eren was brought back to the memory of Levi coming up behind him and hugging him tightly as he cooked breakfast. Tears immediately came but he forced himself to get rid of the image. He took in a deep breath and put on the best smile he could manage and walked in. Marco noticed him right away, his expression softening a bit,

“Hey Eren” He spoke gently,

“Hey, Marco” Marco saw past Eren's smile quickly but pretended to think otherwise,

”How did you sleep?” Marco said with a gentle yet assertive tone. Simply wanting to say it’s okay to not be okay Ren.

“Great! Thank you” Eren grabbed the coffee pot and poured some into his cup hoping that the beverage would wake him up,

“So you going to work today?” He asked as he sipped his orange juice,

“Yeah, I need to make some money for um school.” Eren's ears turned red, making Marco shake his head. I know how you tick Ren I’ve known you for 6 years.

“You know you should take the day off I don't want you to push yourself.” Marco hinged subtlety that he knew what was up but Eren simply brushed it off.

Eren shook his head and brushed him off, ”I'll be fine don't worry”

Jean came Into the kitchen and kissed Marco quickly on the lips, during the exchange Eren turned away and looked at the tv as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.” Hey Eren” the normally sarcastic edge Jean had when he talked to Eren was gone,

“Hey Jean good morning” Eren smiled tiredly, making both of their hearts break. Jean felt a little more hurt given that Eren hadn’t even mentioned a single horse joke. He missed his best friend even if Eren barely started to act like this,

” You're gonna stay home today right?” Jean asked with a voice full of worry,

“No, I have to earn money some way I'll be fine” Marco had been gentle and mothering, Jean, on the other hand, was filled with anger at the person who hurt Eren and at Eren himself for being too damn selfless.

“No Eren you shouldn't work today you need a break” Jean added a little more forcefully than he had intended to,

“Jean I'm fine-“

“Cut the bull shit Eren you need to stay home today whether you like it or not.” Eren scoffed and headed towards the door

”I'm fine Jean leave me alone, I need this job and the money you can't tell me what to do, you’re not my fucking dad.” Eren closed the door behind him and headed towards his car with his head down lost in his thoughts. Jean and Marco looked at each other, they knew Eren was hurting but how would they get through to him?

Jean sighed tiredly and Marco rubbed his shoulders,

“This kid doesn’t know when to stop,” Marco simply smiled sadly,

“ I don’t think he even knows how to,” Jean bit his lip as he realized only one person could tame him.

Jean immediately got an idea and picked up his phone. “Marco I know just the person don't worry, just don't tell Eren.” Marco looked worried but he understood. Jean skipped through his contacts and found him immediately dialing the number. Jean put the phone to his ear and after three buzzes she finally picked up,

“Hello?” Her husky voice suggesting that she had barely woken up,

“Mikasa, Eren came to our apartment last night crying and looking so broken I think it has something to do with his relationship” Jean felt bad for outing Eren but he needed to get through to him. Jean heard rustling on the other line but then he heard a clear voice

”Fuck! Why didn't he call me god dammit Eren, I'm coming over whether he likes it or not.” Jean heard shuffling on the line,

“ Good me and Marco have been worried about him, he's been smiling to try and keep us from worrying but he's a damn walking zombie Mikasa.”

“I'll handle this oh my god poor Eren he doesn't need the extra sadness in his life that fucker is going to pay.” Jean heard the phone hang up and quickly turned towards Marco.

“She's coming soon” Marco sighed in relief and hugged Jean,

“I'm glad I can’t bear to see Eren looking so sad and broken again.” Jean hugged him back,

”I know.” Jean loved Eren like a brother he never had. Eren was there for his first breakup, his first gay crush, his first everything. Eren had even helped him get together with Marco. The only thing Jean could hope for was to be able to take care and help Eren as he had done for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man i love Grammarly, and I hope you guys don't mind a shorter chapter, it'll be short just this time I promise!


	3. Pain is all I've ever known

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy, I am so sorry yall I was super busy this week I got overwhelmed but I am back! instead of every Friday update, I'm going with every Thursday instead lmao! I am also working on another story that I hope you guys will enjoy as well! I want to thank every single one of you for the kudos, the comments it just a UGHHH warms my heart I don't deserve you lovely people, thank you for sticking around and I hope you enjoy! Also big warning ANGSTY

~~~~Levi slowly opened his eyes to be met with piercing sunlight. He groaned and laid in bed looking at the ceiling. A part of him was waiting to hear clattering in the kitchen and hear Erens footsteps but the other part of him knew it wasn't going to happen. Levi still had his vacation time but he chose to go to work anyways, he needed something to take his mind off Eren. He got up reluctantly and walked to the bathroom brushing his teeth and showering.

        He really couldn't stand to look at himself right now so he avoided the mirror completely. He did his best to avoid his reflection and focus on his actions instead. He put on his suit and grabbed a random tie. He glanced down and he barely noticed that it was the same tie from yesterday morning when Eren tied it for him. He felt the sorrow hit him hard, and although he felt tears come to his eyes he refused to remove the tie wanting to bear the same pain he brought to Eren. A lot could change in one day.

        He grabbed his keys and headed towards the front door, he couldn't help but cringe at the defeating silence in the house that was usually filled with talking or Erens laughter. He knew he had to quit his job, he really couldn't face Erwin after what had happened but during this time he simply just needed to get through the day. Levi got into his car and closed his eyes taking in a deep breath to calm his emotions. He put on a bored expression and quickly drove to his work building. He pulled in and parked, he walked out of the car to the elevator where he felt a bit anxious about having to work.

       He walked into the office to see a bunch of his co-workers in their usual booths. He glanced at Erwin’s office, vaguely noticing the note on the door suggesting that he was most likely at a meeting again. He let himself slip into autopilot and as he walked over to his desk and sat down putting his head in his hands, he took in deep breaths to keep himself from crying. Hanji was walking with Mike, talking and laughing when she spotted Levi who was supposed to be on vacation. She waved Mike away saying she'll talk to him later and walked towards Levi noticing how exhausted he looked. Hanjis expression softened and she walked over slowly and put her hands on his shoulders.

       Levi tensed up but relaxed as soon as Hanji spoke,

      ”Levi? Why are you here?” Levi took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He hated letting his emotions get the best of him, but he couldn't help the sorrow he was feeling. He for once in his life he decided to show Hanji what he was feeling. Luckily his work booth was far from everyone else,

     “I fucked up Hanji” his voice held a husky tone and Hanjis eyes widened Levi never ever used her actual name unless he was being completely serious,” I fucked up so bad and now my heart is gone,” Hanjis mouth dropped open as she fumbled,

      ”What happened?” Hanji made Levi stand up and guided him towards the elevator. She and Erwin were friends so she was pretty sure he wouldn't fire her for leaving early. She brought him to her car and got into the driver's seat. It was a cold and cloudy day, it was bound to rain but she had the perfect place to take him and luckily it was a weekday so it would be empty. They drove in silence with Levi looking out the window lost in his own thoughts. She pulled into a close parking spot and paid the toll. She pulled him out of the car and brought him towards Millennium park, Hanji ran towards the bean and sat in the middle. She patted the space next to her causing Levi to give her a look of disgust, she gave him a look of ‘I don't have time for your clean freak tendencies now sit your ass down’.

       Levi hesitantly sat down and pulled up his knees. Hanji sat relaxed and looked up at the sculpture showing her reflection. She sighed,

      ”What happened Levi?” Levi felt his tears coming back,

      “Yesterday I went to visit Erwin because he called me in and…… We argued for a bit and he asked for one last kiss and I felt bad for him so I kissed him and then I heard a loud sound come from the door so I checked and I saw Eren in the elevator.” Hanji stayed quiet the entire time her brows furrowed as she thought about the pain Eren must be going through. If Levi was like this imagine what Eren must have been going through. Hanji solemnly looked at Levi,

      ” How did he react?” She spoke softly, Levi wiped his tears on his sleeve and have a humorless laugh,

      “I came home running and found Eren making coffee, Hanji he sounded so hollow so exhausted when he spoke. It was the worst sound I’ve ever heard” his voice became watery as he finished,

      “He asked the questions like how long have me and Erwin been going on. He said I could keep the house, he said he would check up on me once in a while but that he needed time” Hanji nodded her head,

     “Let him heal he needs time he really does Levi oh my god I hope he's okay” Levi stared up at the sky avoiding his reflection in the sculpture. He heard the clouds crackled with thunder and it started pouring rain. He and Hanji were safe since they were covered but neither seemed to mind the rain. Hanji scooted to his side and laid her head on his shoulder,

     “Anyways shouldn’t you be checking on Eren first?” Hanji simply smiled,

    “ I will later, but Eren has lots of angels to take care of him, I want you to know that you have me,”

     Levi felt so grateful for his best friend at that very moment. He accepted the physical contact and looked around the trees and let himself drift off. He closed eyes and couldn't help but smile at an old memory of him and Eren visiting Millennium Park for the first time. Eren had called the sculpture the bean while Levi had called it, it's original name Cloud Gate. Hearing Eren call it the bean made him pretend to be annoyed causing Eren to laugh and call it the Bean over and over. Levi felt a small smile come onto his lips, it was a cold day but they didn't mind they just kept walking around and visiting everything. They had even visited the lake, which he hated, but seeing Eren smile and gleam brightly was worth the numbness he had felt due to the cold. It was one of the best days of his life.

     Levi looked next to him with a small smile expecting to see Eren smiling widely and looking up to the sky with his bright teal eyes but instead he saw Hanji looking around the park. He felt a pang of loneliness and sorrow hit him but instead of bringing him down it only added to his determination to get back the man he loved more than anything. Even if the voice in his head thought differently.

* * *

 

        “We never needed your business anyway so go fuck yourself!”

      Eren’s loud statement cause people to turn to look at him in disbelief. The offended customer spat at his feet and rushed out the door. He internally cringed at the fact that he had yelled it so loudly. Ymir, his close friend, and boss turned to him with a murderous look on her face that made him shrink back and reverse into the kitchen. To say he was not having a good day was an understatement. Eren was completely exhausted at work. He got yelled at four times for drifting off into his own thoughts. Cafe Maria was never too busy, but for fall and winter, it was a different story. It was absolutely the worst time to be in the state he was in. He was a complete mess and putting up his job smile was becoming a more and more difficult task.

       He did his best to wipe down tables and clean the windows when he noticed a girl smiling at him. He was not in the mood whatsoever so he ignored it. Until she walked towards him and he let out a loud sigh,

     ”What the fuck do you want? Goddamn, I am working I don’t know what you could want from me”

     She paled and immediately changed her course of direction. Luckily, not many people were there but Ymir saw the whole incident and pointed to the back door mouthing the words,’outside now’. He followed her out and she immediately pushed him into the wall with his shirt collar in her hands,

   ” Listen, Jaeger, I love you like a brother and you’ve been here for three years but I cannot have you ruin this business. One more fuck up and I’ll be forced to fire you understood?” Eren shook his head quickly and let out a breath when she released him.

   “Yeah I understand, I’m really sorry,” Ymir sighed feeling bad,

    “Look, I don't know what’s going on but let me know okay? We all have bad days,” He sighed tiredly,

   “Yeah, I guess we do,” She raised her eyebrows at that but chose to not involve him in conversation. They walked back in and Eren started focusing on doing his job instead of thinking how to handle the situation with Levi. His friend Historia kept saying that he needed a day off but he kept brushing her off and saying he was fine. By the end of the day, he was more exhausted than he was when came to work in the morning. Ymir waved him goodbye and told him to take the day off tomorrow. He refused, saying that he was fine making Ymir want to punch him due to his repetitive statement. She once again threatened his job status so he reluctantly accepted the offer. His phone read 7:04 pm when he got into his car, quickly driving to Jean and Marco's place. He walked up to their apartment and opened the door with the spare key under the welcome mat.

    He walked in with a tired smile which immediately disappeared when he saw his beyond pissed off best friend standing in the living room with her arms crossed. Eren sighed and tossed his car keys on the couch,

    “Why are you here?” He meant for it to sound intimidating but Instead, it came out sounding husky and exhausted,

     “I'm here to know why you didn't call me when you found yourself like this, what happened Eren?”Eren sighed in exasperation,

     “Mikasa it's fine it wasn't like it was something I couldn't handle, besides I don’t need to call you for everything I’m not your fucking kid. You don’t need to know every little fucking detail of what happened so how about you let yourself out and leave alright?” He pushed passed her and walked towards the spare room but Mikasa gripped his bicep hard when he was halfway there,

     “I know what you’re doing Eren. I’m not letting you go not now not ever. You have me forever and that’s how it’s always gonna be so get fucking used to it. Pushing me away never worked it didn’t work when we were 15 it’s not gonna fucking work now,” Her words stung him deeply and Eren felt tears burning in his eyes but he swallowed the lump in his throat,

     “I'm fine Kasa, I’m just tired of all this shit,” his voice came out shaky, so Mikasa pulled Eren towards her into a hug. She held Eren tight and put her face into his shoulder,

     “Why do you do this to yourself? You don't need punishment Eren you don't deserve all this harshness you give yourself. Forgive yourself, you don’t need all this pain it was never your fault. It’s okay to not be okay. You don’t need to always be strong for us.” Eren fought weakly against Mikasa but then gave in and hug him back sobbing into his shoulder. Mikasa always knew that Eren hated himself, that Eren wished he was dead sometimes due to his mother’s death,

    “ I’m so sorry Kasa I’m so sorry I miss her so much,” he gripped her back hard as she held him tightly. Mikasa's heart broke for Eren, feeling her own tears coming on she held her best friend. Eren sobbed hard and trembled in her arms. He decided to close his eyes and let out the pent-up exhaustion and sadness. Mikasa stroked his hair and brought him over to the couch. Eren finally decided to tell her what he had witnessed firsthand, but his mouth kept sputtering uncontrollably.

      Eren sobbed and spoke at the same time making the words come out broken, “ h-he-he ha-d-d an a-f-affa-ir affair” Eren could speak any more in fear of not being able to properly pronounce the words so he just sobbed into his best friend's chest,

    “Shhhh it’s okay, it’s okay just cry I got you I promise I won’t let you go,” Mikasa hummed a familiar tune reminiscent of his mother, he loved it more than any other song and Mikasa was the only one who knew it. At the news, Mikasa had felt her anger build up and fell into a silent rage. She was still gentle as she caressed Erens neck and hummed into his shoulder in an attempt to calm his cries. Eren finally stopped crying and laid his head onto his best friend's lap, he hiccuped for a bit and sniffled wiping his tears on his dark green shirt. Mikasa instinctively wiped his tears and smiled at him. Eren for once allowing the coddling.

     She stared down at the man she was in love with while she ran her fingers along his hair and Eren stared off into nothing. Eren fell asleep soon after, causing Mikasa to adjust her position so she was more comfortable with Eren in her lap. Mikasa pulled a blanket over him, she sighed and closed her eyes. Her anger didn’t deteriorate at all, she simply put it aside in hopes of calming Eren first.

     She would certainly figure out how to deal with the situation at hand properly. She closed her eyes and leaned back to allow sleep to take her. Eren dreamt of Levi that night, it was more of a memory really. 

     It was the day Eren had met Levi in his high school sophomore year. Eren had been running to his first class getting completely lost the first day. He bumped into Levi causing him to fall over on the top of the older male. Levi grunted and looked up at the taller male that had a small blush in his face, he couldn't help but notice how attractive he was, especially those teal eyes, and how much he wanted to hold him close. Eren looked into Levi’s deep gray eyes and felt a surge of attraction flow through which made him extremely embarrassed, 

“Watch where you're going you stupid brat” Eren had realized that he had stared at the older male for a long time causing him to scramble off quickly and for Levi to smirk,

   “S-s-sorry!” Eren had picked up his dropped books in a hurry not wanting to look at the hotter male out of embarrassment. Levi had picked up his books with him and made him stand up,

 “Oi brat why are you in such a hurry?”

      Eren sighed and realized he could no longer save his dignity, luckily everyone was already in class so he didn't have to worry about anyone making fun of him for crashing into another student. He sighed and swallowed his pride,

”I got lost so i ran around the entire floor trying to find my class”

      Levi looked at him skeptically and pulled up the sleeves of his long sleeve grey shirt. His steel grey eyes never wavering off him and the look he had made Eren shaky in the knees. Eren swallowed hard at the scene and scolded himself for being so attracted to him. He turned his head to hide the blush but Levi had already noticed. Levi smirked and tilted his head to look at his schedule that was on top of his books,

 “Ah you have Mrs. Kalaski she's a bitch but she's also in room 212, upstairs dumbass” 

    Eren mentally facepalmed for not looking at the floor the class was on, 

“Thank you”

      Levi nodded his face going back to his original bored expression, 

“You’re obviously new, fresh meat I presume?”

     Eren wanted to roll his eyes at the nickname every student above freshman called freshman,

 “Yeah I’m new but I’m not a freshman I’m a sophomore,” Levi raised his eyebrow at that, 

“You know how the levels in high school go right?” His patronizing tone had Eren rolling his eyes,

 “ I skipped a grade,” Levi wanted to raise his eyebrows in surprise but he controlled his emotions,

 “Huh lucky you,” Eren simply nodded and stood awkwardly,

 “ So you’re a junior?” Eren estimated that he was at least 17 given his height and posture,

 “ I’m a sophomore too,” Eren couldn’t help the pounding of his heart when he realized that they could have classes together. His surprise was also there given that he truly didn’t believe that he was a sophomore. His expression of excitement was noticed by Levi who chuckled,

 “Calm the fuck down kid, you look like you’re about to fucking bust, we have lunch together but other than that we don’t have anything together,”

    Eren was semi-disappointed but he was happy that he would be seeing the attractive sophomore a lot more often. “ I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Levi rolled his eyes, 

“Anyways, can I have your name as thanks for not punching you in the face for bumping into me?” Eren chuckled and fixed his black t-shirt, “I'm Eren” he took out his hand for the sophomore to grab,

 “Levi” Levi looked at the hand in disgust,

 ”No thanks, I don't what you have touched” Eren chuckled and Levis' heart fluttered stunning him for a second causing him to want to grab his chest at the sudden emotion, 

”well thank you, Levi I'll see you around” Eren smiled gratefully and headed towards the stairs and his class. Levi shook his head and rubbed his black jeans grimacing at the dirt coming off. He turned around and headed to his first class instead of skipping like he had planned, he kind of wanted to see the sophomore again no matter how much he denied it himself.

      He walked with the smallest smile that he would allow on his face on his way to class, maybe going to school didn't seem so bad if he got to see Eren every day. Eren slowly opened his eyes groaning as he turned to his side. He realized he was on the couch, and spotted a sleeping Mikasa in the recliner. He looked at his phone that read 6:45 AM, he wasn't allowed to go to work so he just stayed on the couch lying with his eyes open. 

     His brows furrowed as he held back tears recalling his dream on how he and Levi had met. He angrily wiped the tears off his face and clenched his teeth. He was done crying over that bastard. He got up and ran to the bathroom checking to see if the purple hickey was gone yet, he looked in the mirror as he pulled down the collar of his blue shirt to see the purple hickey still brightly colored. He huffed in frustration as he ran his fingers over his collarbone and glared at the purple amongst his skin. He scraped at his skin as if it would help the bruise go away.

 He pulled down his shirt and turned around punching the wall in anger. Why the hell is he still in love with him? Why does Levi still make his heart jump and his stomach fill with damn butterflies? Why does he still care about that bastard? He punched the wall harder in pure anger. His knuckles becoming red and raw. He couldn't feel any pain just the pure anger he's held back for two days,

 “ FUCK YOU LEVI” he punched at the wall with both fists not caring about the noise he was making or about the fact that he could break his hands. Tears were streaming down his face and his hands had blood dripping from them but he just kept punching. He wanted to feel to the pain, the hurt, the punishment the satisfaction for getting rid of his anger. While he lot punching the wall the punching no longer became just about Levi, it became about his emotional pain about how he got into a fight with his mother two days before his 17th birthday. 

   He yelled as he punched the wall with all his might recalling the memories he so desperately wanted to keep deep within his mind, but they just kept coming and Eren welcomed the extra pain. He punched the wall harder when he heard banging on the other side of the door. H _is mother was in the hospital and told him to sit down for a little talk. He clenched his teeth and began kicking the wall as well. She sat on the hospital bed with a tired smile and warm eyes that Eren always loved looking at._ Eren closed his eyes and blocked out all noises as he concentrated on the memory. 

      S _he coughed a bit and began asking him about school and Levi, Eren had even joked causing his mother to laugh warmly. His mother took a deep breath and began to tell him recipes to food, cleaning techniques, she told him to fall in love, to make mistakes and that she was so sorry that she was not going to be at his graduation._ Eren felt his hands drip with blood and his face was wet with tears, he was still going strong with punches at the wall throwing a few kicks in as well. _Eren was confused why did she say she wasn't going to be there? He was about to ask when it clicke_ d.

       Eren shouted in anguish at the painful memory but forced himself to recall it. _He got up out of the chair and began pacing telling her she was going to make it that she'll be fine. She shook her head and explained that the chemotherapy wasn't working and they simply didn't have enough money for better treatment. Eren shook his head telling her that he'll work his ass off he had to, but she shook her head again saying that she wasn't going to put such a debt on Eren_. Eren howled in pain finally feeling the pain in his knuckles, and finally allowing himself to feel the raw emotional pain he hadn't felt since his 17th birthday.

      _He shouted at her calling her selfish for not wanting to live for Eren. His father left when he was 6 and now he had another family. She was all he had, literally. Eren had run out of the room with tears streaming down his face. He ran out of the hospital and talked to Levi, while Levi held him and stroked his hair. The next day he went to the hospital to apologize to his mother with her favorite chocolates in his hand. He ran to the room smiling but stopped abruptly when he saw a bunch of doctors crowding the room. One of the doctors noticed him and gave him a look of pity. He knew he was too late._

       Eren finally stopped punching and leaned against the wall with his forehead on the cool surface. He sobbed hard as he recalled breaking down in the middle of the room seeing his mother dead. He had hugged her body and begged her not to go that he was sorry and he loved her. His mother had given him a necklace that she always wore, a key to her old family house. The house had burned down but she still kept it as a last reminder of her own parents. Eren never wore it because he believed it was still hers in some way but maybe he could try it, he wanted to feel the guilt and pain of hurting his mother. Never being able to take it back.

     Never being able to make it right.

    He slid down to the floor and cried harder as he recalled going to his mother's funeral instead of to a party for his birthday. Levi was the only one who could reach him at that point of his life. He was the only one that kept Eren afloat and not drowning in his own depression. Eren heard the door burst open but he didn't look to check to see who it was. He felt someone take him into their arms and hug him tightly. He vaguely recognized Marco’s hands but he just held on to him as he let out his grief. Mikasa and Jean waited in the living room both anxious as to see Eren.

     Mikasa had woke up to banging in the bathroom and ran to check on Eren. She had banged on the door begging Eren to let her in but Eren had ignored her completely. Jean and Marco had finally woken up so Marco grabbed the spare key for the bathroom and had entered shooing Mikasa and Jean away when he spotted Eren sobbing on a bloody wall with horribly bruised and misshapen knuckles. 

      Marco held Eren tightly and let some of his own tears escape when he heard the pure sadness in Eren's wailing. Eren just clung to Marco and sobbed letting out more pent up anger and emotion. After Eren had finally stopped sobbing, Marco began to stroke his hair. Eren just laid against him feeling so empty he spoke softly and hoarsely that Marco almost didn't hear him,

” I miss him..” Marco just shushed him,

”I know you do and it's okay to” Marco simply placed his chin on Erens head.

        Marco truly loathed and hated the man that cheated on Eren, he really did and it was the first time he had felt like this for anyone. Eren slowly stood up with Marco’s help but had flinched and let go of Marco's hand when he felt pain shoot up his hand. They both inspected Eren's hands and seen how misshapen and bloody they looked, it took no genius to figure out that Eren had broken his fingers. Marco had just shook his head and guided Eren to the living room planning to take him to a hospital. Jean and Mikasa had immediately stood up when Marco entered the room but had to sit back down when he gave them a look that said ‘don't fuss don't do anything he's in a very bad place right now’ he walked Eren to the door but Eren just looked extremely out of it, simply staring off into the distance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is a little short but i hope i am forgiven! :)


	4. Well fuck me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyyyyy guess who sucks! Lmao, I am so sorry for not updating again I'm literally like a hairsbreadth away from just saying that the story will have a weekly update GRRR. Work has me fucked up but ANYWAYS thank you guys so so much for the lovely comments and encouragements and just everything I cannot thank you guys enough I love you guys! Really makes my day and I appreciate every single one of you. This chapter is a little short but ill probably be updating earlier anyways. Also, i have a bit of a problem! i am currently writing a music fic! but i do not have a lot of rock songs to incorporate into my story so if you have any recommendations or wanna talk any further about it please leave a comment! or my Tumber Jay-Kay-z and my Discord Jay-Kay_Z #6904! Enjoy!

_2 weeks later_

 

Eren adjusted his hand braces as he vacuumed the carpet. He was trying to help Marco clean even though Marco had yelled at him twice to give it up and just rest. Marco glared at him as he took out the trash, so he simply winked at his friend,

 “I will tie you to the damn couch Eren,” Eren smirked at him,

 “I am not kinky like you and Jean, but thanks for the offer,” Marco went red and he sighed,

 “Eren please,” Eren simply smiled at him,

 “ I am no freeloader and if you won’t take my money then you’ll take my help,” Eren grabbed the bag of trash and placed it at the front door,

 “ Fine but if I see you flinch even once I’ll get Jean to tie you up,” Eren chuckled and continued to fluff the pillows on the couch. It was currently December 23rd and already below negative in Chicago. Eren popped in his earphones, in hopes of ignoring the throbbing pain in his hands, and stacked the dishes in the cupboards.

 Eren stared at the Christmas tree with pride as he stacked the dishes. He loved Christmas, not for the presents but because he knew his mom would be off for the day and they'd watch Christmas movies and drink hot chocolate. Now Eren believes it is a crime to drink hot cocoa without marshmallows. He also eyed the presents under the tree, feeling himself swell with curiosity.

 While he admired the Christmas lights outside, Marco eyed him sadly from the side as he prepared dinner. He knew Eren wasn’t recovering well and his mental state seemed to deteriorate with every passing day. He just hoped Eren would be okay one day and put this all behind him.

 No one knows about what exactly happened to Eren in the bathroom and no one has asked since they were scared it would set him off again. As much as Eren hated it, he thought about Levi every day. He asked all sorts of questions in his head, driving himself crazy. Did Levi miss him as much as he missed him? Did Levi start dating someone else? How was he doing?

 Eren forced the thoughts out of his head and focused on his task,

“Hey babe” Jean entered the room and picked off a piece of spaghetti Marco was cooking. Marco slapped his hand,

 ”You can't do that Jean it’s not ready you’re gonna get sick” Marco chastised him,

 “Then I’ll die happily cause your cooking is amazing,” Jean commented with a wink at his fiancé,

 “God you’re incorrigible” Marco had a small smile on his face as he said it,

  ”Oh, you love it” Eren had a soft smile on his face as he watched them bicker a little. Mikasa walked in through the front door without anyone noticing. She glanced at Eren and quickly went to hug him,

 “Hey, Ren” Mikasa smiled warmly at him and brought him into an embrace while removing his earbuds,

 “Hey, Mika” Eren returned the hug winced when she bumped into his hand that happened to be holding a glass cup. Mikasa quickly grabbed it and sent a glare Erens way,

 “Sit down you suicidal bastard,” Eren rolled his eyes at his old high school nickname. In high school, he had been the most rebellious and reckless kid anyone had ever met. Thus, when he attempted to set off a smoke bomb in his class he was named the suicidal bastard. He only stopped when he found out about his mother’s sickness. Although, he still had one hell of a record.

 Jean turned around and made a face when he saw Mikasa. He didn’t particularly dislike her, but she seemed to bicker with him over a lot of little things. It was the same for him and Eren but he’d known Eren longer. He turned to Mikasa while scratching his neck nervously,

 ”You know Mikasa you can go back to your own apartment if you want I mean it's not like you have to and you do only live like 20 minutes away, but I wouldn't want you to miss out on your life-“

 “No it's fine, I’m staying” She walked away to sit on the couch and turn on the TV.

 Jean was having a hard time being subtle about wanting Mikasa to leave. Marco giggled quietly at Jean’s failed attempt and finished preparing the food. Eren snickered at the moment and started preparing the table.

 Marcos phone went off and he answered it quickly,

 ”Hello?” everyone was too busy talking about the show they were watching so no one really paid attention to Marco talking into the phone.

 ”Hey, Marco!!” Marco winced at the loud voice that was no one other than Hanji.

 ”Listen how's Eren holding up?” Hanji made sure to keep check of Eren and Marco helped her with that.

 “He's holding up okay” Hanji felt horrible after what she heard Eren had done to himself. Of course, she hasn't told Levi that she had contact with Eren even after he changed his phone number.

 “Tell him I love him and that I’m always free to chit-chat! Oh, I almost forgot! Take him to the party I’m having tomorrow! pleaseee i promise Levi or Erwin will not be there, he needs time with his friends and with me! I miss my little sugar plum”

 Marco sighed but looked over to Eren who was laughing a bit at watching Jean and Mikasa argue over who was a better character. Marco smiled at Eren’s change of mood,

 “I don't know Hanji, I don't think it would be such a good idea.” Hanji simply pouted even if Marco couldn't see her.

 “Aww, I know you're worried about him but i know depression. He may seem okay but trust me he feels alone. Solitude and not socializing is literally the worst thing for him right now. Plus I will make sure he feels safe and comfortable and even though he and Levi may need a talk, right now would not be the time,”  Marco made a noise of disapproval,

 Marco looked at again, Eren was still sitting on the couch smiling wide at watching Mikasa’s and Jean’s fight become physical. Marco sighed

 “I don't know about that last part but fine just don't make me regret this Hanji. Also make sure _he’s_ not there, Jean and Mikasa already want to kill him and honestly I wouldn't stop them ”  Hanji screamed and Marco pulled his ear from the phone fearing he would become deaf otherwise,

 “Thank you! Oh and…” Marco heard her drift off by then take a deep breath through the phone,

 ”You know just because Levi and have known each other forever doesn't mean I support what he did, I love Eren too..” Marco sighed

 “I know Hanji he loves you too”

 “Yay! That makes me very happy but anyway it's tomorrow at 6, don't forget! Also, we should trade presents at my house so we can have a more intimate Chrismas” Marco made a noise of approval,

 “Yeah ok see you then Hanji”

 “Bye!” Marco turned his phone off and thought about how he was going to ask Eren,

 Marco rolled his eyes once he heard Jean yell at Mikasa that she was cheating. He chuckled as he watched Mikasa take Jean’s arm behind his back and twist it awkwardly causing Jean to cry out in pain,

 ” Hey! This isn’t the goddamn MMA!” Jean bit it out in pain.

 Mikasa just pushed harder and pulled her shoulder length hair to the side,” You started it horseface” Eren burst out laughing, full on crying because of it. Everyone was startled for a second but eventually smiled at him,

 ” Fu-fuck my stomach hurts ouch” He began laughing again and Mikasa finally let Jean go,

 “Why is that funny Jaeger?” Jean’s tone had a teasing edge to it,

 Eren finally stopped laughing and resorted to snorting instead,

 ”It's cause I never noticed how long your face really is, like damn dude you’re out here looking like Bojack horseman” Mikasa started laughing as well, and even Marco joined in giggling a bit. Jean tried to maintain an angry look but failed and started to chuckle as well,

  “Yeah well, you look like a goddamn gorilla” Eren threw his head back and laughed,

 “Is that the best you got horse face?”

 “Fight me Jaeger” Jean threw a playful smile his way,

 “No, because that would be animal abuse Horseface,” Everyone burst out laughing, even Jean.

 “This is why I tell you guys not watch Game of Thrones,” Marco spoke in a teasing tone but was aiming it towards Jean and Mikasa. Jean scoffed and sat on the far end of the couch,

 ”It's not that! Mikasa just likes John snow cause he's hot and frankly it annoys me”

 “Well sucks to suck because I don’t care” Mikasa sat on the other end of the couch and pulled her red scarf up,

 “I can't believe I used to have a crush on you” Jean groaned as he said it,

 Marco walked back to the kitchen to finish making the food when all of the sudden he heard,

 ”Can’t blame you, you have great taste,” Mikasa said it with a straight face as she pushed her hair back sassily. Eren erupted into fit of laughter with Jean. Marco smiled happily at the fact that Eren was finally laughing again.

 ”Alright, kids time for dinner” Jean and Mikasa came rushing in while Eren came trudging behind. Jean and Mikasa had filled their plates and sat down, while Eren helped Marco finish up the pasta.

 Marco and Eren had finally sat down and began eating along with Jean and Mikasa.”I feel like Bojack horseman isn't gonna die anytime soon” Jean sighed,

 “Well you'd be right” Eren made a neighing sound and Marco choked on his water. He wiped his mouth on a napkin and tried to convey an annoyed tone,

 ” I'm trying to eat damn it” Eren chuckled a bit. Marco smiled at his family’s antics as he began to eat.

 "So Jesus, When am I checking out my suit for the wedding?" Marco gave an exasperated look but blushed at the comment. He held Jean's hand next to him,

 "We've decided on September 24th," Eren smiled excitedly,

 "That's fucking awesome dude. Not too cold, not too hot that's great," Jean also smiled happily and squeezed Marco's hand,

 "Eren you're obviously going to be my best man so pick out a good suit you fuck," Eren felt tears come to his eyes but he brushed them away and settled on a snarky tone,

 "Of course, I would've assassinated you if I wasn't the best man," Jean rolled his eyes but smiled gratefully at his best friend. Mikasa offered a smiled as well,

 "I'm very happy for you and Jean. I have to ask though, what color should I get my dress in?" Marco contemplated the question,

 " We're going with the color grey for our theme," Mikasa smiled at him and continued to eat her pasta,

 "Sounds good and thank you for dinner it's absolutely delicious," Marco bowed his head in shyness,

 "Thank you," Jean and Eren began to play very violent footsy under the table. Eren managed to kick him in the shin and Jean shouted in pain,

 " Look here you bitch-," Marco looked at him and Jean immediately shut up. Eren chuckled and mouth 'whipped' at Jean. Jean mockingly repeated the word and bit violently into a piece of garlic bread. Marco rolled his eyes playfully and began to eat his salad,

 Jean cleared his throat while eating to ask Eren a question, ”So Ren, I’m going into UIC next year with you right?”

 Eren nodded,” Yeah the beginning semester is in September and I’ve earned enough to maybe buy an apartment,”

 Although he had received a full ride to UIC, he didn't want to live in the dorms due to the fact that he became homesick incredibly fast. He also wanted to take a year off of school due to the fact that he was just tired and broke to be quite honest.

 Jean nodded,” Sounds good, but don’t worry too much about the apartment,” Eren glared at him,

 “Don't fucking start,” Jean rolled his eyes but complied. Marco was suddenly struck with the fact that he had forgotten about the party. He cleared his throat and turned to Eren,

 ”Hey Eren”

 “What's up Marco?”

 “How would you feel about going to a party at Hanjis place?” The conversation stopped and the atmosphere became tense. Eren became stiff,

 “Is….. is he going to be there?”

 “No Hanji made sure of it she wants you to come so we can meet up with everyone for a while.” Marco assured him,”And it's only _friends,”_

 Eren relaxed a bit and gave a humorless chuckle,

 ”He always hated parties...” Eren said it softly more like he was saying it to himself.

 “Ok I'll go” Eren looked down at his food with his brows furrowed

 ”I'm sorry I shouldn't have bought it up you're not ready yet.” Eren shook his head

 ”No, it’s ok. It’s not that I would actually really like to see the old friends.” Eren smiled a bit and started clearing his plate. Everyone sat in silence, watching Eren carefully. He sighed heavily and rolled his eyes,

 ”You’re not getting soft on me right horse face?” Jean smiled and scoffed,

 ”Never Jaeger” Eren smiled and smacked Jean on the shoulder,

 ”Now, now Eren you don’t want PETA going after you” Eren laughed lifting the tense atmosphere. He put his dishes in the sink and tried to put away the ingredients Marco had used but was stopped by his freckled best friend. Eren simply rolled his eyes and put up his hands in defense,

 “Alright alright, whatever. Well, I'm going to bed guys, thank you, Marco, for the best dinner I ever had. Goodnight guys ” He got a few good night's back, and then headed to his room thinking deeply. Of course, a small piece of him really wanted Levi to show up. But no matter how badly he wanted to see him again, he really didn't think it was a good idea.

 Eren walked over to his backpack trying to grab his pajamas when a shoebox fell out. He grabbed the box and opened it, going through its contents when he found what he was subconsciously looking for. His fingers brushed over the picture of him and Levi.

 The happiness once again engulfed in bitterness. He put the photo aside and continued to rummage through until he smiled sadly when he brushed over the reason he rummaged through the box in the first place. He picked up his mother's old key rubbing his fingers over it gently. He closed his eyes envisioning his mother old, tired, warm brown eyes and he smiled. He loved this time of year, yet at the same time, he hated it. Mostly because he didn't have his mom to go home to.

 He didn't have anyone to make him hot chocolate like his mom did, and he didn't have anyone to act out the Grinch with him. He lost a piece of his heart and it was evident during this time of year. He let a tear escape as he put the necklace on and spoke softly into the dark, “I’m sorry mom”

* * *

 

Eren woke up in a different manner. He was absolutely determined to make this Christmas Eve the best one he’s had since he was 16. He stretched and felt a bit excited about the party and gift opening happening at midnight. He also felt relaxed that he wouldn't have to work until his two-week vacation was over. He took his vacation days at work because Mikasa all but forced him too or else she would've told Ymir about his 'situation'. He smiled and got up going to the bathroom to shower quickly.

Throughout the day he cleaned the best he could given his hand braces. He waited impatiently for Marco and Jean to come from work and last minute Christmas shopping. He stressed over what to wear for the whole day as well, opting to go for something simple. Also, cleaning helped him calm his anxiety about socializing again.

 When Jean and Marco came home at five, they came home to a very spotless apartment. Jean whistled impressed,

 "Damn Jaeger this place could be used for a Mr. Clean commercial." Eren came out of his room with black jeans and a dark green long sleeve shirt that really brought out his eyes.

 “Thanks, Jean,” He smiled at them,

“ Also, I appreciate you, and I love you but if you clean again in this state I’m going to smack you,” Jean warned. Eren rolled his eyes,

 “ I love you guys too,”

 Marco simply smiled at him knowing that Eren couldn't control it. His anxiety could only be controlled through one way and that was to clean. He had gotten his habit from Levi, to clean when in distress. Eren smiled gratefully at his Marco, knowing that he had understood his situation. He couldn't really find the words to describe how stressed he felt,

 "This is the least I can do for you guys to thank you guys for everything” Marco made his way to Eren and hugged him tightly as a thank you for his work. He wished with all his heart that he could take Erens pain and put it on himself. If only things were that simple.

 Jean noticed a key around his neck but he decided not to pry. He truly wanted his stubborn as mule friend to rest but that went completely against the brunettes DNA. Jean snorted at his joke and put his stuff down on the couch

 Marco opened his mouth to comment but at the same time, someone knocked on the door. Mikasa walked right in like she owned the place and immediately came up to hug Eren,

 "You doing okay? Do you want to skip? Its okay if you do i'm here ok?" Eren pried himself out of Mikasa's very tight hold.

"I'm fine Mika lets just go because Armin said he was coming i want to see him before everyone comes" Mikasa just nodded and adjusted her black long sleeve shirt.

 "Alright let's go, guys we can take my car" Jean and Marco followed but Eren stuck behind in the apartment,

 "I'm right behind you guys, just give me sec" Eren ran to his room to grab a box wrapped in snowman wrapping paper. Marco and Jean saw their opportunity to get the presents from the tree and take them to the car.

 Eren grabbed his jacket and stuffed the small black box into the pocket, inspecting it to make sure it was good to go,

 " I hope you like it Levi" he whispered to himself as he walked out of the house and into the cold air.

* * *

 "Levi you can't just spend the whole day at your place it's almost Christmas!" Levi flinched at Hanjis loud voice

 "Can you shut the fuck up? I can do whatever I damn well please" Levi took a sip of scotch as he talked to his best friend,

 "Yeah yeah, whatever big strong man, just make sure you show up tomorrow at 5 or I'm gonna be really mad at you” Levi made a 'tch sound and hung up. Levi hadn't been managing the best without Eren, barely able to get out of bed in the morning. Hanji has been the only thing that kept him from hitting rock bottom. He really missed Eren with all his being but he forced himself to manage the days without him. 

 Levi had quit the survey corps, not being able to face Erwin again. He had instead managed to grab a good job with another company that gave an overall better atmosphere. He still struggled with the guilt that he had for hurting Eren but he used the guilt as motivation to get Eren back. _It's not like you were good enough to have him in the first place. Just give up boy._ He rubbed his face and forced the voice in his head to quiet down. He checked the clock which read 6:24 pm. Hanji was supposed to be hosting a party so maybe going wouldn't hurt.

 She hadn’t specifically invited him but she knew he hated these types of things and that's probably why he didn't get an invite. However, for Levi, going to see old faces wouldn’t hurt. Besides, he could use the distractions. He got up from the couch and went to the bathroom showering quickly and pulling on his dark blue button up and a pair of black jeans.

 He grabbed his keys and coat, heading from the door of his apartment. After Eren had left, he sold the house and started renting an apartment instead. He was going to the party to have fun with Hanji. Would Eren show up? The little through trickled into his head but Levi forced the thought out of his head not wanting to get his hopes up. The icy air made him pull up his coat and his cheeks become flushed, it was an old coat one that Eren had given him the day he forgot his own. His favorite in all honesty.

 By the time he got to Hanjis house, it was full of old coworkers, friends and some acquaintances. He walked in immediately looking for Hanji. He weaved through the crowd of people when he finally found Hanji talking to some people in the living room. She was laughing with some people and Levi gave the smallest smile he had to offer at the scene. Hanji needed a break to be with her friends, after all, she had been taking care of Levi for the past two weeks.

 Levi sighed and decided to go home after all it's not like anyone had spotted him. He turned around and started to move towards the door when a voice made him stop in his tracks,

"Lev?"

Levi froze after he heard the one voice that had been haunting him for the past two weeks. The voice was like music to ears after hearing it after so long. Levi turned around to face big bright teal eyes, wide open in surprise. They belonged to the one person he loved more than anything,

 

"Eren"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love cliffhangers, don't you? hahaha
> 
> Please don't kill me


	5. New beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovelies! Wow, I finally updated this damn story and I'm so sorry for the wait on this chapter I've had massive writer's block and been frustrated with every version I wrote but finally, I'm back! Don't worry ill finally use a real schedule for updating but anyhow thank you all so much for your support and your kudos comments everything it truly makes my day Thank you! Alright, I'll stop so you guys can get to it! :)) Also constructive criticism is always massively appreciated and I'll link my social media in case you guys wanna just chat or have questions or ideas!

“Eren.” Eren's eyes were wide as he stared at Levi with surprise. The weight on his chest returned and he felt as though he was drowning in the constant flow of emotions. He felt...numb? Fuck, there was no word for what he was feeling right now, hell he didn't even **know** what he was feeling right now. For Levi however, it felt as though the crowd had disappeared and it was just him and Eren. So far yet so close. He clenched his jaw and smiled sadly at him,

“Hi, Eren.” Eren snapped out of his state of shock and furrowed his eyebrows.

“Hi…” Eren stepped away awkwardly, wanting to avoid contact with him at all costs. A lump appeared in his throat which he swallowed quickly, not wanting to show Levi how much of hold he still had on him. He felt like crying but out of joy  _ and  _ sadness  _ and  _ anger. The smack of sudden emotions gave him whiplash. 

He wanted to run into Levis' arms and stay there forever. He wanted to be held by him, wanted to feel his lips against his own, wanted to hear Levis voice against his ear telling him how much he loved him. Yet at the same time, he wanted to punch Levi in the face, yell at him, tell him how much of an asshole he was for breaking him into a thousand pieces and How he had the  _ audacity  _ to take his heart with him.

Eren chose anger over all of the other emotions. He simply had no other choice,

“What the hell are you doing here?” the venom in his voice startled a woman next to him. 

She scoffed at him and walked away. The crowd in the living room began to look at them with interest. Levi, however, was startled by the sudden question, his eyes slightly widened and he lost his train of thought. Eren cursed in his head and bit his lip, contemplating how to deal with this properly. Levi simply watched him, studying him from head to toe. When he noticed the braces on Erens hands he felt himself fume with anger. What had happened? How had Eren gotten hurt? Nobody hurts Eren. He couldn’t stop himself reaching out to touch Erens hands.

Erens breath hitched when he felt Levi grab his right hand, bring it up to his face to inspect it. When Levi kissed the top of brace, he felt the lump in his throat return with vengeance.

_ Fuck _

“I’m sorry for whatever happened to your hands, whether it was my fault or not.” Eren kept his demeanor cold, even if his heart was doing somersaults in his chest. Eren simply nodded and yanked his hands back reluctantly. No matter how loving Levi was, Eren would not break. He opened his mouth to speak but his words were cut off by a familiar voice,

“Eren! Come look at what Jean did to Marcos' face!” Eren quickly turned around to be met with Armin's head peeking out of the kitchen, searching for him. Eren cursed again and grabbed Levis hand,

“We can’t talk here, come with me.” Levi simply obeyed the brunette and followed him. Eren pushed through the crowd in the living room, making his way for the guest room that was more secluded. He found the familiar hallway and made way towards the room at the end. Eren pushed Levi into the room first and closed the door after they went in. He sighed deeply, trying to keep his emotions in check.

The bags under Eren's eyes had Levi feeling like the worst man on earth. He personally wasn't any better but he cared more about Eren. Eren pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled,

“Levi, what are you doing here?” Eren asked it more gently than he had in the living room. Levi exhaled slowly and licked his lips,

“I'm sorry. I didn't know you'd be here. Hanji didn't even invite me. I just came because it's Christmas and I-” Eren cut him off by placing his hand on his arm. Eren didn’t know what the hell he was doing but at least it got Levi to stop rambling. He never in his life saw Levi ramble, it startled him. 

“Yeah, I get it. I came for that reason too.” Levi looked at him with warmth in his eyes. Eren felt his resolve slipping faster than he could stop it. He felt himself panicking, he wasn't ready, he couldn’t he just  **couldn’t** . Eren coughed loudly and cleared his throat, removing his hand from Levis' arm.

“Well, since we cleared that up uh ill go back to the party. Don't go near the kitchen you have like 3 people who want to kill you right now haha.” Eren laughed awkwardly and Levi nodded,

“Yeah, that's fine. I hope you have fun. Actually Eren I might as well say this before I lose my courage but do you think we could just meet up and talk properly? I know I'm asking so much of you, and I know that in no way shape or form I deserve this but I would regret not asking.” Eren contemplated his question. Instead of thinking with his heart like he always did, he chose his pride this time,

“I don't know maybe. I'll think about it,” Levi nodded and Eren stood awkwardly until he felt the box in his pocket.

“Oh yeah, I got you this for your birthday.” Levi felt his heart skip a beat as Eren handed him a think box wrapped in snowman covered paper. He grabbed the surprisingly heavy box and held it close.

“Thank you so much,” Levi smiled at him and Eren felt his chest  _ hurt _ god how he missed that smile. That soft tone he reserved for only Eren. Did he use the same one with Erwin? He suddenly felt claustrophobic at that thought. Eren clenched his teeth and turned away,

“Yeah. I’ll get going now get home safe.” Eren opened the door quickly and without turning back, exited the room hoping to figure out what the fuck his feelings for Levi were at this point. Levi watched Eren leave and then sat on the bed of the guest room, his present from Eren in hand. Eren always bought him a present for his birthday, even as Levi would groan and chastise him Eren kept at it.

Levi felt his heart drop, as he inspected it. He truly did not deserve Eren, everything Eren was and everything he had given to Levi. Yet, his heart couldn't let go, he loved Eren with his heart and soul, and for Eren, he would change and do whatever it takes to have him back in his arms again. He slowly finished taking off the wrapping paper when he felt a tear slip out as he realized what his gift was.

It was one of the best Nikon cameras there was. Perfect for taking pictures with. Levi still remembered the day he had passed a Best Buy staring at the camera studying and admiring it from afar. He hadn't realized Eren had seen him. He held the box to his chest and let himself cry,

“I'm not letting you go Eren” he whispered the words to himself with promise. He cleared his throat and wiped the tears on his face when heard someone knock and he called out,” Come in.”

Eren found himself subconsciously scanning the crowd looking for Levi for the fifth time that night. Even around his friends, he felt his attention drifting often. When he had spotted Hanji he told her to check on Levi without providing her any explanation, leaving her confused and looking guilty. He had only smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand reassuringly. That was about 10 minutes ago and he found himself now scanning the crowd every so often. He hated it,

"Hey Eren, are you okay?" Armin had a concerned look on his face and smiled at his worrywart of a friend,

"I'm fine Armin, just....tired." Armin eyed him suspiciously but dropped the subject.

Eren sighed to himself as he heard his group laugh at something Marco said. Eren excused himself and walked over to the living room, Mikasa was already on him like a koala but he snapped and held his hand up,

“I’m fine. Please not tonight,” Mikasa simply nodded and reluctantly walked back to the kitchen. Eren sat down on the couch and contemplated his situation for the first time since that day. The fact that he had to keep reminding himself that Levi had hurt him was bad really bad for him if he planned to get over Levi. His braces scratched his face as he rubbed his hands up and down. His head was throbbing and the Christmas music blasting really wasn't helping his case like whatsoever. He leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, drifting into a troubled sleep.

He abruptly awoke to hand on his shoulder, he looked up and saw Marco smiling softly at him and Hanji next to him. He groaned and reached into his pocket to find his phone, the light from the screen blinding him for a moment, the white numbers reading 2:26 am. He had slept through the whole party. At least he didn't have any nightmares that night. Hanji whispered something into Marcos' ear and he nodded and went into the kitchen. Hanji sat next to Eren and put his head in her lap.

Hanji pulled her fingers through his hair while Eren kept his sleepy gaze on the floor,

“You know Eren the first time I saw you I knew that you were it for him, I've been with Levi all my life and he had never smiled as much as he had until he was with you,” Eren said nothing and only furrowed his eyebrows,

“ I love Levi very much like if he were my own brother and I love you just as much Eren I just want both of you to be happy if not together then that's ok.”

Hanji sighed waterly, and Erens confusion amplified, “I've been in love before too when I was younger, and he was amazing and I thought that he was it for me and well things changed when I caught him in bed with my co-worker. It hurt, it did but I tried to forgive him I did, I saw the way it broke him when I broke it off. I tried to get back together with him I thought I could but three days in I realized he wouldn’t change and thank god I realized it. I couldn't forgive or trust him again.”

“I don't blame you at all I don't like you doing this to yourself. Don't blame yourself it all goes to him because he fucked up and it'll take a while for me to forgive him too but what I'm saying is that if you believe in your heart that you can love to forgive and trust him again I say go for it because pride isn't worth the loneliness later. I'll support whatever you choose because you can't force yourself to repair and love him again quickly, take as much time as you need or if you believe that you truly cannot be with him again then that's his fault for letting someone like you go.”

Hanji felt Eren's tears leak onto her jeans,“ I don't want you going through this alone and I will help you through this no matter how long okay?”

Eren raised his head from her lap and turned to her, “ Thank you Hanji you'll never know how much it means to me I love you too.” Hanji smiled and gave a chuckle as she hugged Eren tightly. Eren finally felt himself relax for the first time in a month. It felt like he knew what to do and no one would be able to change his mind.

Hanji took a deep breath and cleared her throat,” Now come on time for presents.” Eren's eyes lit up like a damn Christmas tree and Hanji laughed,

“ Yeah, that woke you up.”

Eren turned to the hallway to see Mikasa, Jean, Marco, and Armin holding boxes covered in colorful paper,

“ Merry Christmas!” Marco smiled at him and put the rest of the presents under the tree. 

“Wait I left the gifts for you guys at home.” Eren turned to Jean who was looking guilty,

”I sort of planned this and I already brought the gifts from home,” Eren just chuckled,

“You slick son of a bitch alright fine.”Everyone sat down somewhere in the living room. Eren yawned quite loudly and tried to blink the sleep out of his eyes.

Hanji smiled and yelled,” I'm going first!” She got up and took out 5 presents from under the tree. She handed them out and held a big blue box for Eren at the end, ”Merry Christmas.” Eren smiled at her,

“Thank you so much.”Before Hanji pulled away she whispered in his ear,

“He’s still in the guest room just so you know,”, he smiled at her gratefully, however, he was still unsure of how he would use the information. She walked back to her place on the sofa and he ripped open the present carefully, minding his braces, to expose a box that had Nike written on the top. He looked at Hanji guiltily but she only shook her head and urged him to open it. He opened the box to expose the most amazing pair of shoes he had ever seen in his life. He picked up a shoe and inspected the white Nike sign on the side along with the beautiful black color it came in.

The inside had soles that supported his feet which would surely help his aching feet during work. He looked at Hanji and gave her a big hug. She hugged him back just as tight. He pulled back to put his shoes next to space on the couch. He smiled when he saw everyone else was very happy with their gifts from Hanji.

Marco stood up and smiled, “ My turn.” 

He grabbed boxes from the tree and handed them out to everyone as well. He handed Eren his present last smiling warmly, “ Merry Christmas,”

Eren smiled widely and hugged him tightly,” Thank you for everything” Marco hugged him back tightly.

Eren pulled back to tear up the red paper. When he opened the box it held new clothes including two pairs of blue and black jeans and three long sleeved shirts from Under Armour. Eren looked at him guiltily, he didn't like it when people spent money on him it always felt weird. Marco just shook his head ruffled his hair.

Everyone in the room was talking and joking around with each other when Jean suddenly stood and said “ My turn bitches.”

Everyone groaned and Jean flipped the bird. He grabbed boxes from the tree and handed them out saving Eren for last like everybody planned to do. He handed Eren a small green box and Eren smiled back and hugged him. 

Jean patted him on the back and pulled back,“ thank you for everything.”

Jean just chuckled and smacked his shoulder,” Stop being mushy you fuck” Eren just laughed and ripped open his present to see a brand new pair of boxing gloves. He looked up to see Jean biting his lip keeping a smile back. Everyone else looked pretty shocked but Eren only laughed loudly. It was better to joke about it then to never talk about it and that was Eren's main philosophy.

“Wow just what I needed fuck you and thank you.” Jean looked a bit relieved and he smiled widely.

“No problem use then next time I don't want to clean blood from the wall again” He shuddered teasingly and Eren gave a hearty chuckle. 

“I'll do it again just to spite you,”

Jean threw his head back and laughed, “I’ll make you fucking do it.” Eren just shook his head. Armin quietly stood and began to hand out his own gifts. He finished with Eren last and hugged him tightly. Eren hugged him back just as tight and ruffled his hair, "Thank you." Armin smiled brightly. Eren tore into his gift to reveal a bulls jersey he's been wanting since he started school. He also knew that he hadn't bought because it was extremely expensive. He glared at Armin and Armin simply smiled cheekily.

“My turn!” Mikasa shouted it loudly. Eren looked outside to see just darkness and white snow on the ground below. It was a good Christmas definitely one of the best he's had. He snapped out of his thoughts when he saw Mikasa standing above him with a wrapped gift in his hand.

She smiled at Eren and whispered “ Merry Christmas,” Eren stood up and hugged her tightly,“ Thank you.” 

Mikasa only smiled and Eren took the box from him. He ripped it open to find a deep green hoodie. A hoodie he had been eyeing since forever when it came out in stores. It was the larger comfortable ones that under amour had started selling as a limited edition but he had no idea Mikasa bought it way beforehand.

He sighed loudly and slammed the hoodie down. Everyone turned to look at when he said: “ Fuck you guys for knowing exactly what I've wanted.” Everyone started laughing.

"You wear your heart on your sleeve Ren it wasn't hard to find something for you,” Armin had commented. Eren rolled his eyes and walked into the hall.

“I'm getting coffee I'll be back,” 

He walked into the kitchen tiredly but began starting up the coffee maker minding his hand braces. God how he hated those things. Now that he was alone he began to contemplate what he really wanted from Levi. A relationship would be nice but could he really? It's not like he'd trust Levi right off the bat again he'd have to earn it back and it would take a long time.

Even if he decided that staying apart was for the best, he knew that a piece of him would stay with Levi forever. He sighed in frustration feeling tears come to his eyes. He wiped them away angrily,  _ what the fuck am I crying for? He doesn't deserve my tears but god it hurts _ . Eren took a breath in to calm himself before calling out to his friends that the coffee was ready.

“Coffees done!” He shouted it out and heard the rush of footsteps come in. He poured his own cup quickly and grabbed the sugar on his way out to avoid the crowd that came in. He poured 8 packets in and Armin gave him a look of disgust,

“Can you even taste the coffee?” 

Eren chuckled at that and stuck his tongue out. He made an ‘mmmm’ noise as he drank his sweetened coffee. Armin scrunched his nose up and Eren laughed. Eren walked over to the living room to look at the snow outside. It was still pitch black outside but he watched the snow brighten the darkness. He put his cup down with two hands so that he didn't have to move his knuckles too much.

He couldn't help when his mind drifted to the oh so familiar topic on his mind lately. He thought back to what Hanji said and realized that every word she spoke was the ugly truth in his situation. The sooner he would get this over with the sooner he could move on. The only way he would get any closure is knowing that no matter what he could have done they wouldn't have been able to repair their broken relationship.

But the truth that scared him most was the fact that he didn't know if he was ready for the answer.No, he knew he needed to resolve the situation soon. With a burst of courage, he quietly walked to the guest room while everyone was distracted in the kitchen. He quietly knocked on the door and Levi almost immediately opened up. He was shirtless and wore those loose striped pants Eren had gotten him about two months ago. God, he was beautiful as always,

“Hi, I didn’t think you'd be up but can I come in?” Levi looked at him confused but nodded his head. As Eren walked in he immediately tripped on a stray pillow making Eren close his eyes and prepare himself to meet the floor but he didn’t. Arms went around his waist to catch him and Eren turned around in his arms to keep balance. He winced in pain as he moved his knuckles too quickly to grip Levis' shoulders. He looked up to see Levi's silver gaze staring back at him, putting him under a spell that Eren would happily give in to

Levi kept staring at Eren's amazing eyes as he held him close to keep him from falling. He cleared his throat and reluctantly let his hands drop once Eren was secure on his feet. Eren snapped out of his trance his courage suddenly gone, but with some coercion he convinced himself to do it, to finally give himself some closure.

He felt pain as he looked at the man he once loved.  _ Still loved  _ he corrected himself bitterly. He cleared his throat and quickly let his hand drop looking Levi dead in the eye.

In a monotone voice, Eren spoke,” Today, Marías café 10 am sharp if you're late I'm done,” he quickly turned around and ran back into the living room not turning back. 

He internally hollered in happiness for the small victory he accomplished. He let a smile appear on his face as he walked towards the living room to his friends. He walked in on Hanji dramatically throwing her hands in the air and telling a quick story that had everyone laughing. Eren chuckled and announced,"Hey you guys forgot about my gifts."

Everyone turned to look at him, "Why yes we did!" Hanji beamed at him and began to help him hand out his presents.

As everyone opened their presents and said thank you to Eren, Eren sat down next to jean and listened to Armin begin his story of how he accidentally hacked into the FBI's system, he found himself more hopeful that he's been in a while.

Maybe it wasn't going to be so hard after all.

* * *

Eren looked at himself one time before leaving. He couldn't help but run his hand through his hair a million times overextending the messy hair look he always wore. He was tired as hell but he knew that if he canceled he would never come around to doing it again. He fixed his leather jacket and took a deep breath while smoothing out his black skinny jeans. He put his key necklace inside his green long sleeve shirt and turned around to face Marco.

“Wow, you look very nice today Eren, what's got you in such a happy mood?"Marco smiled at him brightly. Eren may have forgotten to mention that he was meeting with the guy that cheated on him and broke his heart but you know. He honestly just didn’t want to mention it to any of his friends because he knew exactly how each of them would react.  Of course, he dearly appreciated his friends and their overbearing nature but the decision he was making was one he was sure of.

“Nowhere just to work. I'm having coffee with an old friend though too,” He smiled at Marco and walked to the front door,

“Alright, but don't stay out too late kiddo,” Eren nodded and pulled on his dark blue windbreaker and walked out the door. Marco sighed when Eren walked out the door, he felt that Eren was keeping something from him but he wasn't one to pry. He just hoped that whatever Eren was deciding to do that it was for the best.

Eren arrived 20 minutes early and got situated in both next to the window. It was still very cold outside and the snow did not show any sign of letting up. Ymir spotted him and walked over with her pocketbook in hand.

“Hey stranger,” he smiled nervously at her.

“Hey mir,” Ymir frowned and sat across from him.

“What's wrong Jaeger and don't even bother lying I've seen your behavior at work," Ymir said sternly.

Eren groaned and bounced his leg under the table,” I'll tell you everything later just knows that I'm meeting my ex here to talk.” The word ex felt weird on Erens lips. 

Ymir gave him a strange look but nodded,” Well he better keep his hands to himself or else he'll be messing with me too,” she gave him a smirk which surprisingly made him feel better.

He chuckled lightly,” Thanks mir,” 

She got up and took out her pencil,” Alright what do you want to eat or drink Jaeger I don't have all day.” He smiled and didn't even look at the menu seeing that he knew it by heart.

“ Uh, one medium mocha and one medium black coffee no sugar one cream,” 

Ymir wrote it down quickly and sped away,” Coming up!”

Eren didn't pay to attention to the fact that he still knew Levi's order by heart. 

At about 9:50 he spotted a familiar looking figure walking towards the cafe. He took in another deep breath and looked away trying to keep his feelings under control.  _ It's okay Eren you'll do fine. _

He heard the familiar ring of the bell when someone walked in. He stood up and pulled up his poker face trying to give nothing away. He turned towards Levi with his face giving nothing away. He gripped his brace in his hand to keep himself from breaking his facade.

“Hey,” Levi spoke first and Eren nodded.

“Let's sit, the sooner we finish the better.” Eren gave himself a mental high five at the way he managed to keep his voice steady.

Levi sat across from him and even Eren couldn't help but notice how tired he looked. 

“ So I'm not gonna sugarcoat at any time during this conversation.” Eren gave a warning and Levi only nodded. Eren spotted Ymir looking over from the counter. Ymir had her mouth open in shock. She hadn't expected it to be Levi  _ at all.  _

She wanted to blame Levi so bad, she wanted to pin Erens’ tired face and eye bags on him but since she didn't know the whole story she decided to refrain. She brought over the two cups, smiling at Eren genuinely. She ignored Levi as she placed the cups on the table and whispered to Eren,” Call if you need anything,” 

Eren smiled gratefully and nodded. He quickly shifted his face back to his stoic look and saw Levi looking at him brokenly and longingly. Eren turned back to the window and bounced his leg a little faster,” So this question is the one that's been bothering me for quite a while, why did you do it?” 

Levi took in a deep breath,” I honest to god what you to know that I love you more than anyth-”

“ That's not what I asked,” Eren gave him a criticizing look.

Levi nodded,” Sorry, i got distracted. I mean I did it because I, I don't want you to think I wasn't happy because I was but I did it  because I was selfish.” He admitted it shamefully and Eren kept his gaze stony. He turned away and bit his lip to keep his tears at bay.

“ I know that you know that I wasn't ready for sex. For that, I take partial responsibility for this, for making you wait I guess,” Levi jerked his head to him suddenly.

“ Don't say that! Don't take responsibility for this Eren this wasn't you, it was me,” 

Eren couldn't help but scoff at how cliche that sounded,” You know, I would've never guessed that you would have cheated on me. Shitty luck that you left your phone” Eren admitted painfully.

Eren bit the inside of his cheek to keep his emotions in check. It was extremely difficult with Levi around. It was like his emotions would just unravel like a damn hurricane.

“ Did you actually love me?” Eren cursed himself for the crack in his voice at the end.

Levi stared at him deeply and fiercely,” I would walk into hell for you, I would do anything for you Eren.” The genuine look he gave Eren made Eren want to forgive him right away but he knew he couldn't do that.

“If you did then you wouldn’t have cheated.” Levi clenched his jaw and Eren simply cleared his throat to move on.

He felt his chest constrict a little,” Okay well, can I ask if you've ever cheated on me with anyone else?” Levi only shook his head.

Eren nodded,” Do you honestly expect me to forgive and forget right away?” Levi looked at him with red teary eyes,

“Do you honestly think these weeks of not seeing you, of knowing what you did felt like? To have the one person you trusted with your heart tear it to pieces?”

Levi bit his bottom lip,” I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything in this goddamn world. I can't lose you I'm so selfish I know but you i can't lose..” Eren swallowed hard.

“I understand if you need time. Take as much time as you need I just want to make sure you stay in my life.” Levi hesitantly reached across to grab Erens had gently. Eren felt chills course through his body at the touch.

He took a deep, watery breath but didn't take his hand away from Levi's,” I'll try to stay in your life but I can't guarantee that I'll ever be ready to be more than your friend.”

Levi nodded at him and brought his right hand on the table to hold Erens left,” I'll take whatever I can get Eren,” Eren reluctantly pulled his hands away, immediately missing the warmth. Seeing Levi expressing his emotions so openly let Eren know that he was being genuine.

Eren sniffed quietly and took a deep breath swallowing the lump in his throat. Levi cleared his throat and leaned back.”I'm willing to give you another chance… your last chance.” He put extra emphasis on the word last.

Levi breathed out a sigh of relief,” Thank you,” though words could not express his gratitude.

Eren took a sip of his coffee,” Alright then we're going to start over as if we were never lovers as if we were never together.” Levi felt his heart clench but he reminded himself that it was what he deserved and it was what would earn back Erens trust.

“Okay then,” Eren smiled and held his hand out in front of Levi's face,” Eren Jaeger a pleasure to meet you,” Levi only smiled and shook his head. He gripped Eren's hand mindful of his brace.

“Levi Ackerman,” Eren smiled at him and cleared his throat,” Well Mr. Ackerman, would you mind telling me a bit about yourself?” 

Levi smiled widely,” Well there's not much to know I guess,” Levi took a sip of his drink and gave a small smile.

Eren rolled his eyes and Levi bit his lip to refrain from chuckling,” I'm sure we'll find something interesting about you, Mr. Ackerman.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys!!bi-weekly updates now also my social media  
> Discord: Jay-kay_Z_#6904  
> Tumblr: jay-kay-z


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